The Dark Side
by saresare
Summary: SongFic: "Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace. Inside Tom's head when he's fighting with the parasite affliction.


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THE DARK SIDE  


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_by saresare_

Inside Tom's head when he's fighting with the parasite affliction_._

**DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing.

**RATING:** K+**  
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**STATUS: **One-shot**  
Song: **_Animal I Have Become_ by Three Days Grace**  
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**SPOILERS:  
**Episode 1.4

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_"… Tom isn't just an animal. He's a human being. He has willpower; he's going to fight this."_  
- Cutter_

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It had seemed like such a great idea in the beginning. Connor's secretive behaviour had been getting on their nerves, and his rambling of dinosaurs had them worried. They'd wanted in on whatever it was Connor was doing. Kidnapping the dodo seemed so harmless at the time. It was fun. It was exciting.

_**I can't escape this hell  
So many times I've tried  
But I'm still caged inside**_

What Tom hadn't expected was mind-controlling attack dodos. _"Never underestimate the unseen power, Duncan. Never."_ He was convinced that the conspiracy was of ascendancy, that Connor's new colleagues were evil. The paranoia set in quickly.

_**Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself**_

They'd changed him. Messed with his mind. Turned him into a monster. Made him hurt people.

_**So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become**_

A little voice inside his mind begged him not to succumb to the surges of violence, to defeat the demons that had called him home. He struggled, willing himself to fight it. And he did. He fought. Oh how he fought.

But it wasn't enough.

_**Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal  
This animal, this animal**_

He watched in the mirror with horror as the thing inside him crawled through his torso just beneath the skin. The power that had invaded his body. It was evil. _They_ were evil. They'd done this to him, those people. Those people wanted to hurt him and they wanted him to hurt others. And they'd succeeded. Before he even realised what was happening he'd already bitten the doctor and fled in panic.

He tried to tell himself that he could beat it, that he wasn't a monster. That it was just mind over matter. But he couldn't beat it. He would have periods of lucidity but then without warning it would all change in a matter of milliseconds. No matter how hard he fought, the fury and wrath would overwhelm him.

_**I can't escape myself  
So many times I've lied  
But there's still rage inside**_

It was all their fault. They were against him. Even Connor. He was alone. Him against the world.

He needed proof. He needed the dodo. He used Roswell to find the blonde girl at the university. The dodo was dead. Murdered for experimentation. He needed the girl to tell him what was really going on. He wanted answers. He _needed_ answers. But she lied to him. Lied about everything. They were nothing more than autocratic lying bastards.

_**Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself**_

He tried to warn her to stay away. He tried to tell her that he would hurt her. He didn't want to hurt her, even if it was her fault he was trapped in this nightmare that he couldn't escape from. Even if it was her fault that something evil was growing inside him, making him sick. Making him do terrible things. Making him scared of himself.

Her fault. Her and the rest of her mendacious comrades. _Them._

It was only when the demons overtook him again and he had her pinned down with teeth bared that she caved. "Okay! You want the truth? I'll tell you. The whole story. That's what you want, innit? I can show you where this thing really came from." She spoke of trust, but he didn't trust her. He didn't trust anyone.

_**So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become**_

Stories of rips in time and shimmering orbs of light. When she flung the doors open he expected to be confronted with the truth. But there was nothing there. Anticipation turned into disappointment. Then anger. They thought he was stupid. He wasn't worth the truth. He was just a pawn in their sadistic game. He was nothing to them.

She'd set him up. They were on their way to dispose of him. Just like the dodo.

The rage boiled up inside him, the demons exploding to the surface again. He was suddenly engulfed in searing anger and an unyielding, burning hate.

_**Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become**_

If she was so willing to let him suffer, to let others suffer for their fascism, then he'd teach her what it was like. He had her pinned against the concrete out in the stadium, struggling with her flailing limbs to bite her, to pass on whatever was inside him. She screamed and kicked and pleaded. A tiny voice inside him told him to stop, that this wasn't him, that he had willpower. But the demons were too strong now. He was too far gone. He couldn't even think, he was just trapped by the walls of resentment and hate, and he couldn't escape.

_**Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal**_

Suddenly he was surrounded by the guns that had come to kill him. He was deathly afraid, but he would be brave. He was better than them. He looked up to face his tormentors, bracing himself for the assault of gunfire.

He didn't expect Connor to jump in front of him, hands raised and begging not to harm him. Confusion and uncertainty filled him.

"Tom. Tom, it's me. Let her go mate."

His wild eyes flicked between the black figures and their weapons. The tiny red dots burnt his eyes as they passed along his face. He could barely hear what Connor was saying. He stared down at the young woman below him. Bile rose in his throat as he realised what he'd almost done. He peered up at Connor, imploring him for help.

_** Somebody help me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself**_

"You remember Thursday nights, don't you? Battlestar Galactica, Blakes Seven?" Connor grinned. "Pepperoni pizza?"

A small shocked laugh escaped Tom's lips as the memories of friendship and laughter and love flooded his mind. He stared blankly ahead for a moment, struggling with the different emotions that were tearing his thoughts in a thousand different directions. Then, slowly, the anger began to fade.

"Connor?" he whispered.

_**Somebody wake me from this nightmare  
I can't escape this hell**_

"Yeah." Connor gave a tiny nod, his brown eyes glimmering with tears. "They were good times, weren't they?" After a few seconds of strained silence, he said, "You can fight the dark side, mate. You really can."

The dark side. _Fight the dark side._

He was fighting the dark side.

Good vs evil.

He was the good. Not the evil. He was fighting the evil.

The blonde girl scrambled away from him in his moment of distraction. He raised a weak hand of apology.

_Fight the dark side._

One of the soldiers yelled out to Connor. "He will kill you!" the man insisted.

Tom slumped to the ground. _I won't kill him_, he thought. His first coherent thought in several hours.

"No he won't," Connor said softly. He walked the few steps over to Tom and crouched down. "He's my friend."

_**So what if you can see the darkest side of me**__  
__**No one will ever change this animal I have become**_**  
**_**Help me believe it's not the real me**_

"You come with me," Connor murmured. "We can … we can help you."

Tom stared at him, then at the people on the stairs that wanted to kill him. Those people. They didn't want to help him. They did _this_ to him. "It was a conspiracy, wasn't it Conn?"

Connor nodded. "Big time. Right to the top."

"Was there any mind control?" Tom asked. He wanted the truth. He knew he was going to die. But he wanted to die knowing the truth.

"Yeah."

Tom took a shuddering breath. "Brilliant."

_The dark side._ The people behind Connor were the dark side. The people that had toyed with his mind. The people that had unleashed all this pain and distress on him. The anger boiled up inside him again, the demons ravaging his muscles and itching for vengeance. He heard yelling, but he didn't pay attention. He trembled as the battle for sanity raged within him.

_Fight the dark side. The dark side. Fight … fight it._

He collapsed into Connor. Sobs wracked his body as he buried his face into his friend's chest and let go of all the anguish weighing on him like anvils.

_**Somebody help me tame this animal I have become**_

"It's okay. You're okay," Connor told him, wrapping his arms across Tom's back.

Tom looked up and locked eyes with Connor. He saw nothing but sadness in them. He'd done it. He'd fought the dark side and won. But it had taken all his strength.

"They tried to take me over, but I fought them Conn," Tom explained in between stuttered breaths. "I fought them."

_**Help me believe it's not the real me**_

"You did a really good job," Connor agreed.

Good vs evil. He'd fought the evil. He was the good. He'd defeated the dark side. "I'm a hero."

_A hero._

Tom felt the darkness take over him again, but not with violence and fury. With a numbing emptiness. The last thing he saw was Connor's nod of agreement before he fell away from his arms and surrendered to the shadows.

_I'm a hero_.


End file.
